Stop It, Commercials

PANDERING: America invented it (and everything else, too)

Posted in Uncategorized by hendyhendel on November 17, 2010

The recent elections showed us all some shocking realities, not the least of which is this: people vote during elections.

The recent elections showed us all some vastly exaggerated possibilities: every single person in this country fits in the box labeled “Republican” (some go in the corner of that box labeled “Tea Party”). The walls of this box are built of various bits American iconography and certain typically-conservative ideals.

Upon discovering this box, ad agencies did what they’ve always done: sold shit to that box!

First is a relatively old commercial for something called CTIA (a trade group that represents practically all brands of wireless communication):

Get it? It’s an American song. Statue of Liberty. Red, White, and Blue. Children. Pilgrims. Blah fuckity blah blah.

This commercial combines the aforementioned pandering with another topic touched upon in previous posts: “We know what you do.” You post pictures online. And videos. And you search on the internet. CTIA made a collage of all these glorified mundanities into a lazy reference to American ideals. Not to mention how some of the YouTube videos featured represent the vanity and manipulation that plague self-production (as seen in the woman clearly filming herself singing and the children in simple Thanksgiving garb look off to the side to make sure they’re singing to the camera correctly, respectively).

This is freedom, apparently.

Oh, so is this:

Sweet Lincoln, do I hate this fucking commercial.

I hate discussing politics, since they are personal and mine often clash with others (ultimately, I just want to be left alone and not told what is good for me). However, this commercial made itself political. Oops, it was accidentally released in an election year when a large chunk of the voting public adopt typically American icons as their own (one of the biggest issues during the election was “the Constitution”) and make themselves a noticeable faction of the population.

To top it off, the Dodge Charger is a repeat offender. Remember that Super Bowl commercial that listed all the things that “women” want “men” to do and that “men” agree to do? It was a Dodge Charger commercial. The message was that since men suffer through women (who clearly do not understand suffering), this loud, dickish car is their birth right.

George Washington driving a Dodge Charger with a 13-star flag, taking down the British is a pathetic appeal to people who shamelessly use the term “Obamacare” (almost as annoying as people mocking Bush with the word-he-never-used, “Strategery”). Cars and freedom. Fuck you.

I’m sorry for the nature of this post, but I cannot express my anger for commercials like these. They are unclever comments on the state of society, attacking individuality in ways good advertisers strive to avoid. It’s like the old “Simpson’s” bit:

“Abortions for all!”

“Boo!”

“Okay… abortions for none!”

“Boo!”

“Fine. Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others!”

“Hooray!”

Additionally, they are guilt-trips. If you do not respond to the iconography this car represents, you’re a goddamn traitor. If you don’t support the Dodge Charger, you’re stabbing your country in your back. “Us vs. Them” should not be used as a fucking sales tactic, so stop supporting it.

Beer commercials attack intellect, social liberties (again)

Posted in Uncategorized by hendyhendel on November 11, 2010

It’s been several months since we’ve updated, but as football season has come back into full swing, there are new commercials that have staked their claim and deserve destruction.

Let’s return to a favorite target: fuckin’ beer commercials.

It must be clarified: we at Stop It, Commercials do not hate beer. We rather enjoy beer, in fact. For the most part, we don’t even discriminate against the beers mentioned here (though they are rarely a first choice; there are equally inexpensive beers that treat their drinkers with class instead of contempt, such as Yuengling or Sam Adams). However, if they continue making commercials like this, it starts becoming clear that with every pitcher bought, there is a haunting echo of derisive laughter floating along the wind.

This is not the only spot of this kind, there is a series. Nor is this the only awful one (in some ways, to be fair, it’s one of the least awful ones). However, it exemplifies the whole gamut of intellectual crimes being done by beer advertisers.

These commercials are disasters for multiple reasons:

In each spot, the bartender is a traditionally sexy woman with enough cleavage to require ropes and carabiners. The women all behave cruelly toward their customers as if they don’t work for tips. They emasculate a man-boy who doesn’t care about how his beer tastes (none of these people would give a shit, but when the question is, “Would you like the beer that tastes better?”, no one would realistically say, “No.”). This is sexism, people. It’s thinly veiled sexism. Essentially, the woman acts like a man and calls the man a pussy (you can’t say “pussy” on TV; you can, however, say “woman”). The implication is that anyone, regardless of gender, who acts like a woman is inferior. Women are cool, so long as they behave like a dude.

This particular spot was chosen, because it has a different element. Look at everyone. The mama’s boy, the mama, the friends, the bartender. See a trend? While you’re just as unlikely to find a black person in any of the other spots, this is pathetic damage control. They’re diverse, because there’s black people. There’s no integration, but there are black people. The rest are all white, but people get angry when there are not black people. Let’s get a bunch of black people together! Black quota, served!

This commerical, and this string of commercials as a whole, embrace antiquated notions of discrimination through a modern eye. But no matter how much you Febreze it, bullshit is still bullshit.