Stop It, Commercials

Catchy Jingle, Verizon.

Posted in Uncategorized by hendyhendel on March 7, 2010

If you’re part of GENERATION AWESOME TWITTER (born after 1993) and would like to know where that jingle came from originally, just search “Big Red” on YouTube, which can be done on your Verizon 3G wireless device. Look it up anywhere: The city (where anyone who would want this phone resides) or on a Wyoming ranch (where no one who wants this phone resides).

It should be noted that Verizon gets you. Each and every one of you. All of you web surfers watching Today’s Big Thing or browsing through sundry newspapers online or clicking StumbleUpon for an hour or so waiting to liveblog the Oscars at The AV Club’s website. What Verizon wants to give you is the power to “download stupid stuff much better” anytime and anywhere, no matter how inappropriate.

-Is your dad annoying you in his attempts to be a father? Ignore him with “David After The Dentist”!

-Are you desperately trying to get fired from your hourly wage job in this terrible employment market? Piss off your boss with The Huffington Post!

Verizon provides you all with a service promised to damage relationships, both business and personal, like a heroin-addled mistress that can be carried around in your pocket and cries out whenever it craves attention or a fix.

In addition to commandeering another product’s jingle (changing everything except the name of the original product, curiously enough), this commercial is also the lesser of two “on a horse” ads. Old Spice FTW.

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